Stone Butch Haircuts

There is a certain apprehensiveness that comes with a haircut. Putting your image into the hands of someone else, a stranger. The body, texture, and haircut changes the way people perceive you, and the way you view yourself. It’s an act of defiance, expression and an interpretation of who you are as a person. Hair is a statement of culture, and a confrontation of being, it’s an ever changing reflection of character that speaks to each person differently. So putting the pressure of that into the hands of another is true trust. 

I remember pieces of the girl I was through my long auburn hair. The motion of it swaying as I walked, tying it up before swimming, meticulously brushing it every morning, and constantly tucking it behind my ears. In the years before my first short haircut I looked in the mirror with unease that this would be my final form. My reflection felt so false, so strange to me, but for the life of me I couldn’t put my finger on why. It wasn’t until I was exposed to queer representation that all the days I slicked back my hair in the shower, tucked my hair into a hood, and pinned it back really clicked into place. 

At seventeen I told my mom I was going to cut my hair. I showed her reference photos and reassured her that I was sure this was the change I needed. In the next few months I was in the chair at the hair salon, more excited than nervous, I showed the hairdresser some photos. My mom had done her research to find the perfect queer friendly salon for me (the last thing I wanted was a feminine looking pixie cut done by someone who has never seen a butch lesbian). I watched as chunks of hair hit the tiled floor below me. Hair created a circle around me as the sounds of scissors against strands filled my ears. When all was done I saw someone in the mirror I didn’t recognize, someone new and different. I smiled and thanked him as I left, but an overwhelming emotion of comfort filled my body. I finally felt the relief and solace I had been searching for, I knew I was one step closer to feeling like my true self. In that moment I knew I would never have long hair again.

This project is a dedication to all the queer afab people who have gone through years not feeling quite like themselves. It’s showing real people that the male-gaze media refuses to let into the light. It’s a tale of how powerful a single haircut can be.

The title being a play on words of the famous queer novel Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg.